Post by Rhonda on Jan 24, 2006 21:32:53 GMT -5
The Boomerang
Burying his face in his hands Hank recapitulated his life over the past
5 years, and what he concluded was not very pleasant. It had all been
like. a boomerang. As soon as the idea entered his mind he smiled about
it. What a silly metaphor! But almost immediately the smile was replaced
by a frown as his thoughts expanded to several areas of his life. It WAS
a boomerang. Everything had bounced back to him in one way or another.
First there had been his relationship with Shirley, a nice lady who had
been--and still was--involved in an awkward concubinage that dated back
from the days before she had met Hank. Shirley and Hank got romantically
involved five years ago, and maintained a love affair ever since. They
spent time together whenever she was available, which was not too often
given her still ongoing attachment at home.
Having been involved in a difficult-to-end, long term relationship
before this one himself, Hank had tried to empathize with Shirley's lack
of willpower to step out of her responsibility at home, which she
claimed to be dreading so badly. But five years is a long time to
empathize. So, in his review of the years with Shirley, the allegory of
the boomerang kicked in: Hank suddenly realized that, with his very
presence in Shirley's life and his hopes that she would someday be his
wife, he had actually been accommodating her other relationship! "For
what happens when people have secret love-affairs?" Hank thought to
himself, "They usually feel guilty
about their secret, whether they care for the "outside lover" or not,
and they consequently go out of their way to be nice toward the partner
at home to mentally make up for the infidelity (which the home-partner
may not even be aware of), thereby sending the wrong signals of
contentment and happiness to that person."
The shock of Hank's sudden awareness was enhanced by his realization
that with his persistence in holding on to this relationship with
Shirley, he had reached exactly the opposite of his dream: he had
factually facilitated her other relationship! He came to the conclusion
that Shirley had just used him to make her home-situation bearable. Hank
thus found that his purpose had turned around and flown right into his
face. Things had turned out to be precisely the opposite of what he had
wanted!
Then there was his work: At the office Hank had cleverly chased four
employees, among whom Samantha, away from their positions. Samantha and
the three others who ultimately left used to be committed employees who
were just unfortunate enough to have been part of the previous team at
the office. So when Hank took over the management position at that
workplace four years ago, he did what most managers do: evaluate who had
worked under the previous management, which made these people "guilty by
association," and shrewdly eliminated them, either by taking away their
responsibilities, by having them transferred to other, less desirable
departments, or by plainly ignoring them whenever, wherever, and however
he could. Especially
in meetings: He ade sure their suggestions were never considered.
With this behavior from Hank's side, it was a matter of time before the
four old-league members were gone and the office was entirely staffed
with loyalists to Hank's regime. Hey! This was just a matter of company
politics! He did not feel any real antipathy against the people he had
banished. It was just the way things are usually handled in
organizations: Hank simply adapted the age-old elimination strategy.
Unfortunately, the tide had changed since. The company had been
experiencing performance problems, and a major "rightsizing" plan was
implemented. Hank's department was terminated, and he had to look for
another job. In the classifieds he came across an exciting position
offered by a company performing similar services as the one he used to
be affiliated with. The vacant position of assistant-manager was
slightly lower than Hank's previous job, but the salary was the same as
his last one, so Hank felt that he would be satisfied. And who knows!
Maybe he would make it to manager there soon!
So Hank applied a few weeks ago, and got selected for an interview. He
even made it to the second interview. But this morning there had been a
third and final round, in which the manager of the department and the
Human Resource manager, together with some other staff members, were
present. That's when Hank was once again confronted with the boomerang
effect: the manager of the department he was aspired to get the job in
was.Samantha. She had completed her business degree in the past two
years, and got promoted last month from assistant-manager to manager in
this office, where she had found a job after having been pestered away
from the previous one by Hank. Since Samantha was now the manager, the
department was in need of a new assistant-manager.
Although the interview went well, Hank was unsure of what Samantha's
decision would be. She had seemed nice enough during the interview and
had not displayed any sign of rancor, which was not what he could say
about himself in retospect: The contemplation of what his decision would
be if he had been in Samantha's shoes, took all the wind out of his
sails.
So, there he was: Taking a better look at his life. He could easily drum
up a number of other instances in which the boomerang effect had
manifested itself: in good ways and in bad ways. Like that one night
when he stopped for an old lady who stood in the rain, gave her a ride
to her destination a few blocks outside of his normal route, and found
out later in her "Thank You" note that she was the mother of one of the
city's most influential men,who later facilitated Hank's membership one
of the most prominent clubs. And that one time, not too long ago, when
he rudely ignored an old, silly-looking man whom he passed in the hall
at work, only to find out that this was the Chairman of the Board: the
most influential person in the
decision-making process regarding staff-members' staying or being laid
off.
Hank decided that evening that his reflections had taught him an
important lesson: no matter how rough things would be in the future,
from now on he would try to be righteous. He would cease going along
with general strategies and behavioral traits, and follow the way of his
heart. For life is a boomerang: everything that you do flies back in
your face: if not sooner, then definitely later.
Burbank, California; February 24, 2003; Joan Marques, MBA, Doctoral
Student (URL: http://www.joanmarques.com)
Burying his face in his hands Hank recapitulated his life over the past
5 years, and what he concluded was not very pleasant. It had all been
like. a boomerang. As soon as the idea entered his mind he smiled about
it. What a silly metaphor! But almost immediately the smile was replaced
by a frown as his thoughts expanded to several areas of his life. It WAS
a boomerang. Everything had bounced back to him in one way or another.
First there had been his relationship with Shirley, a nice lady who had
been--and still was--involved in an awkward concubinage that dated back
from the days before she had met Hank. Shirley and Hank got romantically
involved five years ago, and maintained a love affair ever since. They
spent time together whenever she was available, which was not too often
given her still ongoing attachment at home.
Having been involved in a difficult-to-end, long term relationship
before this one himself, Hank had tried to empathize with Shirley's lack
of willpower to step out of her responsibility at home, which she
claimed to be dreading so badly. But five years is a long time to
empathize. So, in his review of the years with Shirley, the allegory of
the boomerang kicked in: Hank suddenly realized that, with his very
presence in Shirley's life and his hopes that she would someday be his
wife, he had actually been accommodating her other relationship! "For
what happens when people have secret love-affairs?" Hank thought to
himself, "They usually feel guilty
about their secret, whether they care for the "outside lover" or not,
and they consequently go out of their way to be nice toward the partner
at home to mentally make up for the infidelity (which the home-partner
may not even be aware of), thereby sending the wrong signals of
contentment and happiness to that person."
The shock of Hank's sudden awareness was enhanced by his realization
that with his persistence in holding on to this relationship with
Shirley, he had reached exactly the opposite of his dream: he had
factually facilitated her other relationship! He came to the conclusion
that Shirley had just used him to make her home-situation bearable. Hank
thus found that his purpose had turned around and flown right into his
face. Things had turned out to be precisely the opposite of what he had
wanted!
Then there was his work: At the office Hank had cleverly chased four
employees, among whom Samantha, away from their positions. Samantha and
the three others who ultimately left used to be committed employees who
were just unfortunate enough to have been part of the previous team at
the office. So when Hank took over the management position at that
workplace four years ago, he did what most managers do: evaluate who had
worked under the previous management, which made these people "guilty by
association," and shrewdly eliminated them, either by taking away their
responsibilities, by having them transferred to other, less desirable
departments, or by plainly ignoring them whenever, wherever, and however
he could. Especially
in meetings: He ade sure their suggestions were never considered.
With this behavior from Hank's side, it was a matter of time before the
four old-league members were gone and the office was entirely staffed
with loyalists to Hank's regime. Hey! This was just a matter of company
politics! He did not feel any real antipathy against the people he had
banished. It was just the way things are usually handled in
organizations: Hank simply adapted the age-old elimination strategy.
Unfortunately, the tide had changed since. The company had been
experiencing performance problems, and a major "rightsizing" plan was
implemented. Hank's department was terminated, and he had to look for
another job. In the classifieds he came across an exciting position
offered by a company performing similar services as the one he used to
be affiliated with. The vacant position of assistant-manager was
slightly lower than Hank's previous job, but the salary was the same as
his last one, so Hank felt that he would be satisfied. And who knows!
Maybe he would make it to manager there soon!
So Hank applied a few weeks ago, and got selected for an interview. He
even made it to the second interview. But this morning there had been a
third and final round, in which the manager of the department and the
Human Resource manager, together with some other staff members, were
present. That's when Hank was once again confronted with the boomerang
effect: the manager of the department he was aspired to get the job in
was.Samantha. She had completed her business degree in the past two
years, and got promoted last month from assistant-manager to manager in
this office, where she had found a job after having been pestered away
from the previous one by Hank. Since Samantha was now the manager, the
department was in need of a new assistant-manager.
Although the interview went well, Hank was unsure of what Samantha's
decision would be. She had seemed nice enough during the interview and
had not displayed any sign of rancor, which was not what he could say
about himself in retospect: The contemplation of what his decision would
be if he had been in Samantha's shoes, took all the wind out of his
sails.
So, there he was: Taking a better look at his life. He could easily drum
up a number of other instances in which the boomerang effect had
manifested itself: in good ways and in bad ways. Like that one night
when he stopped for an old lady who stood in the rain, gave her a ride
to her destination a few blocks outside of his normal route, and found
out later in her "Thank You" note that she was the mother of one of the
city's most influential men,who later facilitated Hank's membership one
of the most prominent clubs. And that one time, not too long ago, when
he rudely ignored an old, silly-looking man whom he passed in the hall
at work, only to find out that this was the Chairman of the Board: the
most influential person in the
decision-making process regarding staff-members' staying or being laid
off.
Hank decided that evening that his reflections had taught him an
important lesson: no matter how rough things would be in the future,
from now on he would try to be righteous. He would cease going along
with general strategies and behavioral traits, and follow the way of his
heart. For life is a boomerang: everything that you do flies back in
your face: if not sooner, then definitely later.
Burbank, California; February 24, 2003; Joan Marques, MBA, Doctoral
Student (URL: http://www.joanmarques.com)