Post by aka on Dec 6, 2007 16:56:39 GMT -5
Listening.
When I was studying counselling, there was a module in the course devoted to listening and after musing on it for a bit, I realised just how much I did not know, about the art of listening. Since then I have often thought, that the world would be a better place, if we all had some lessons, that taught us to be better listeners.
To me the difference between a great counsellor and a run of the mill one, is the person’s ability to listen in the correct manner. For if the counsellor is merely hearing and not listening, then they will be unable to give the help and support that their client wants/needs.
In a counselling context.
Correct listening can be called by a number of names, some you may hear are….”active listening”, “attentive listening” and “informational listening”. They all have one thing in common, that being , the full understanding of the message that the speaker is trying to convey.
I personaly like the term “active listening”, because to me, listening goes further than just receiving the correct. message. Once the message has been received, it needs to be interpreted in the correct manner, this means, that you have an understanding not only of the message the words convey, but also what the message means to the person who conveys it. In this process of active listening, you must try to understand, not what the message means to you and the feelings it engenders in you, but you must try to see it totally from the message senders point of view.
Some would say that you must empathise with the sender, but to me this is not correct, active listening goes beyond empathy and unfortunately I don’t know of a word that describes this “going beyond” process. The only way I can try to convey my meaning is by saying, that you must in some way, put yourself within the mind of the sender and “hear” the message totally from their perspective and not from your own. You have to leave behind your own set of values, preconceived ideas, ideals and biases and fully comprehend, exactly what the message means to the sender, from their point of view.
It is useless looking at your own feelings and trying to imagine how “it” would effect you, if you were in their position.(Empathy) What you have to grasp, is how it is effecting the sender of the message, for this is the purpose of counselling. It would be totally useless to tell the person what you would do, for you are not in their shoes. You have neither their feelings nor their resources. Each person is unique and can only solve/address a problem, in a manner that is suitable to them. There is no right way nor any wrong way. The only way that will work, is the way that fits the feelings, needs and resources of the particular person.
Well I won’t say anymore for now, but I will put an article from Wikipeda here for you to read and muse over. If by writing this, I have helped to make just one person a more active listener, then I will consider my effort worthwhile.
Informational listening
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Informational_listening
The process of informational listening focuses on the ability of an individual to understand a speaker’s message. It is a huge part of everyday life, and failing to understand the concept of informational listening can be very detrimental to one's contribution to society, and indeed, detrimental to quality of life in general. Much of the listening people engage in on a regular basis falls under the blanket of listening for information. In the office, people listen to their superiors for instructions about what they are to do. At school, students listen to teachers for information that they are expected to understand for quizzes and tests. In all areas of life, informational listening plays a huge role in human communication.
Potential Hindrances
When listening to a person’s message it is common to overlook aspects of the conversation or make judgments before all of the information is presented. This lack of effective comprehension is detrimental to communication and is illustrated effectively by several specific obstacles. Chief among these obstacles are Confirmation Bias and the Vividness Effect. Both obstacles to effective communication distort the speaker’s message by severely affecting the perception of a particular topic.
Confirmation bias
Confirmation bias is the tendency to pick out aspects of a conversation that support our own beliefs and values. This psychological process proves to have a detrimental effect on communication for several reasons. First, confirmation bias tends to become involved in conversation before the speaker finishes his/her message. As a result an opinion is formed without first obtaining all pertinent information. This, in turn, leads to uneducated thinking and fallacious judgments that could later affect others. Second, confirmation bias detracts from a person’s ability to be open minded. For example, when listening to a statement an individual may hear something at the beginning of the conversation that arouses a specific emotion. Whether this is anger or frustration or anything else, it could have a profound impact on that person’s perception of the rest of the conversation. If they were to become angry about a statement the speaker made early on in the conversation, they would likely be averse to accepting the arguments presented later on in the discourse. In order to combat this bias and avoid its consequences, an individual must be aware of the bias and its effects. From this knowledge stems the fact that an individual has to critically judge both sides of an argument or statement before coming to a conclusion.
Vividness Effect
The vividness effect explains how vivid or highly graphic and dramatic events affect an individual’s perception of a situation. This phenomenon has been amplified by the media in recent decades. With the use of media technology graphic images can be used to portray an event. While this makes the process of receiving news easier and more enjoyable, it can also blow a situation out of proportion. One year after the Columbine High School shootings, about 60 percent of the people who responded to a survey by USA Weekend said that they felt a shooting was likely at their own school. The reality was much different; in fact, the likelihood of a school shooting is negligible across America. The vividness effect was only amplified by the media. It existed long before the advent of television or radio. When observing an event in person, an individual is automatically drawn toward the sensational or vivid aspects. Thus, a person becomes quick to believe that all aspects of an event are bad if they can remember the one vivid part that offended them. In order to counter this tendency an individual must be aware of this inclination to dramatic events and take measures accordingly. One must resist the temptation to jump to conclusions and instead weigh all of the facts before making a judgment.
Effective Listening
In addition to avoiding the two major mistakes listed above, there are things one must do to be a competent informational listener.
Memory
In order to really understand what is being said in the present, one must remember what has been said before; and in order for the message to have any impact at all, one must remember at least parts of it at some point in the future. The most obvious memory aid is simply taking notes, but it is also helpful to create a mental outline of the message as it is being heard.
Identification
Identify the main point that the speaker is trying to bring across. When the main point has been deduced, one can begin to sort out the rest of the information and decide where it belongs in the mental outline. Before getting the big picture of a message, it can be difficult to focus on what the speaker is saying, because it is impossible to know where any particular piece of information fits.
Questions
It is usually helpful to ask oneself questions about the message. If the listener is mentally asking questions about what is being said, it is a good sign that he/she is actively involved in effective informational listening.
When I was studying counselling, there was a module in the course devoted to listening and after musing on it for a bit, I realised just how much I did not know, about the art of listening. Since then I have often thought, that the world would be a better place, if we all had some lessons, that taught us to be better listeners.
To me the difference between a great counsellor and a run of the mill one, is the person’s ability to listen in the correct manner. For if the counsellor is merely hearing and not listening, then they will be unable to give the help and support that their client wants/needs.
In a counselling context.
Correct listening can be called by a number of names, some you may hear are….”active listening”, “attentive listening” and “informational listening”. They all have one thing in common, that being , the full understanding of the message that the speaker is trying to convey.
I personaly like the term “active listening”, because to me, listening goes further than just receiving the correct. message. Once the message has been received, it needs to be interpreted in the correct manner, this means, that you have an understanding not only of the message the words convey, but also what the message means to the person who conveys it. In this process of active listening, you must try to understand, not what the message means to you and the feelings it engenders in you, but you must try to see it totally from the message senders point of view.
Some would say that you must empathise with the sender, but to me this is not correct, active listening goes beyond empathy and unfortunately I don’t know of a word that describes this “going beyond” process. The only way I can try to convey my meaning is by saying, that you must in some way, put yourself within the mind of the sender and “hear” the message totally from their perspective and not from your own. You have to leave behind your own set of values, preconceived ideas, ideals and biases and fully comprehend, exactly what the message means to the sender, from their point of view.
It is useless looking at your own feelings and trying to imagine how “it” would effect you, if you were in their position.(Empathy) What you have to grasp, is how it is effecting the sender of the message, for this is the purpose of counselling. It would be totally useless to tell the person what you would do, for you are not in their shoes. You have neither their feelings nor their resources. Each person is unique and can only solve/address a problem, in a manner that is suitable to them. There is no right way nor any wrong way. The only way that will work, is the way that fits the feelings, needs and resources of the particular person.
Well I won’t say anymore for now, but I will put an article from Wikipeda here for you to read and muse over. If by writing this, I have helped to make just one person a more active listener, then I will consider my effort worthwhile.
Informational listening
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Informational_listening
The process of informational listening focuses on the ability of an individual to understand a speaker’s message. It is a huge part of everyday life, and failing to understand the concept of informational listening can be very detrimental to one's contribution to society, and indeed, detrimental to quality of life in general. Much of the listening people engage in on a regular basis falls under the blanket of listening for information. In the office, people listen to their superiors for instructions about what they are to do. At school, students listen to teachers for information that they are expected to understand for quizzes and tests. In all areas of life, informational listening plays a huge role in human communication.
Potential Hindrances
When listening to a person’s message it is common to overlook aspects of the conversation or make judgments before all of the information is presented. This lack of effective comprehension is detrimental to communication and is illustrated effectively by several specific obstacles. Chief among these obstacles are Confirmation Bias and the Vividness Effect. Both obstacles to effective communication distort the speaker’s message by severely affecting the perception of a particular topic.
Confirmation bias
Confirmation bias is the tendency to pick out aspects of a conversation that support our own beliefs and values. This psychological process proves to have a detrimental effect on communication for several reasons. First, confirmation bias tends to become involved in conversation before the speaker finishes his/her message. As a result an opinion is formed without first obtaining all pertinent information. This, in turn, leads to uneducated thinking and fallacious judgments that could later affect others. Second, confirmation bias detracts from a person’s ability to be open minded. For example, when listening to a statement an individual may hear something at the beginning of the conversation that arouses a specific emotion. Whether this is anger or frustration or anything else, it could have a profound impact on that person’s perception of the rest of the conversation. If they were to become angry about a statement the speaker made early on in the conversation, they would likely be averse to accepting the arguments presented later on in the discourse. In order to combat this bias and avoid its consequences, an individual must be aware of the bias and its effects. From this knowledge stems the fact that an individual has to critically judge both sides of an argument or statement before coming to a conclusion.
Vividness Effect
The vividness effect explains how vivid or highly graphic and dramatic events affect an individual’s perception of a situation. This phenomenon has been amplified by the media in recent decades. With the use of media technology graphic images can be used to portray an event. While this makes the process of receiving news easier and more enjoyable, it can also blow a situation out of proportion. One year after the Columbine High School shootings, about 60 percent of the people who responded to a survey by USA Weekend said that they felt a shooting was likely at their own school. The reality was much different; in fact, the likelihood of a school shooting is negligible across America. The vividness effect was only amplified by the media. It existed long before the advent of television or radio. When observing an event in person, an individual is automatically drawn toward the sensational or vivid aspects. Thus, a person becomes quick to believe that all aspects of an event are bad if they can remember the one vivid part that offended them. In order to counter this tendency an individual must be aware of this inclination to dramatic events and take measures accordingly. One must resist the temptation to jump to conclusions and instead weigh all of the facts before making a judgment.
Effective Listening
In addition to avoiding the two major mistakes listed above, there are things one must do to be a competent informational listener.
Memory
In order to really understand what is being said in the present, one must remember what has been said before; and in order for the message to have any impact at all, one must remember at least parts of it at some point in the future. The most obvious memory aid is simply taking notes, but it is also helpful to create a mental outline of the message as it is being heard.
Identification
Identify the main point that the speaker is trying to bring across. When the main point has been deduced, one can begin to sort out the rest of the information and decide where it belongs in the mental outline. Before getting the big picture of a message, it can be difficult to focus on what the speaker is saying, because it is impossible to know where any particular piece of information fits.
Questions
It is usually helpful to ask oneself questions about the message. If the listener is mentally asking questions about what is being said, it is a good sign that he/she is actively involved in effective informational listening.
