Post by confuseddaughter on Jul 26, 2006 20:13:03 GMT -5
I'm happy I found this board. I feel as if I'm going crazy. My mother and I are in yet again another fight. She suggested a few months ago we go to counseling together. I thought perhaps she really wanted to help attempt to bridge the gap between us but it became evident at the onset of the first meeting that all she wanted to do was villianize me. She began telling the counselor that I had anger problems, that no one wanted to be around me...all the same things I've heard from her and those she manages to pull in as alliances, nearly my entire life. Fortunately the counselor has yet to side with her-I do hope her manipulation isn't able to extend to the counselor because she does tell it like it is thus far. I'm just so very confused. I've been feeling at fault for all of my life, as if I'm the crazy one, the strange one...she has pointed the finger at me and I've effectively pointed it right back at myself as a result of conditioning. I know something is wrong-finally either with me or with her-perhaps it's both. I just know I can no longer live with the verbal and emotional abuse. I stumbled on these borderline personality traits...and I thought "wow a lot of this is what I've been going through". Anyway, I was hoping someone or all could provide some ideas as to how to get a better idea (granted an evaluation would be best) so I at least know what direction to go in. I have constant headaches from rethinking things-like "maybe I am what she says I am...mentally ill", "maybe I am the one with the problem, afterall she holds down a job (same job for 15 years now) and everyone seems to love her", "maybe I do have anger issues" I'm just at a point that I don't know what to think, feel, or believe anymore. She lies constantly and I feel as if I have to always watch for a tone in her voice on the phone, or an expression in her face when we meet to do something, to determine what kind of mood I'd be dealing with at the time. She told my husband I slapped her across the face-a complete and utter lie. When confronted she tried to make my husband out to be a liar-she said she didn't say it at all or anything like it and then a few minutes later said "I said you pushed me against a wall". Still lies. The only one that ever did any pushing or slapping was her. I was totally abused by this woman and she refuses to take any sort of responsibility for it. Anyway, there's always a ton more to say and many more examples to convey. If anyone would care to offer insight, I would sincerely appreciate it. Thanx-Confused Daughter
