|
Post by beth7cam on Mar 22, 2009 10:01:08 GMT -5
Hey. Just thought I'd introduce myself. I was diagnosed with Clinical Depression at 16 and have been on meds since. Usually these keep my demons pretty much under control, but I have been feeling more depressed and recently began cutting myself again. Until the most recent incidents (in January and, most recently, Monday night the 16th), I hadn't done that in over 10 years. I'm just looking for a buddy, some one who has been where I am now and who would not be judgemental ( a member of my "inner circle" of supporters called me a "dumb dumb" for my actions Monday night- um, bad move). Please, guys, I'm looking for someone who understands. PLEASE do not respond if you can't be supportive. Thanks for listening. Hopefully I can connect with someone.
|
|
|
Post by Rhonda on Mar 22, 2009 18:48:55 GMT -5
beth7cam FIRST THINGS FIRST
I would like to welcome you to this group Know there are some that have been where you are now.
There are several different theories as to why people self harm so support is good for your own survival.
I am a friend of the owner of this group...and well some of the other members and I are also very dear friends...they could probably help you more than I can.
Anyway they will answer when they pop in.
another group to try is Rocky;s Retreat...there are alot of supportive people there too. the link is below
kraj.proboards57.com/index.cgi?
Hugs ~Rhonda
|
|
|
Post by Mel on Mar 22, 2009 19:38:10 GMT -5
Hello,
I first want to say Welcome to the Group and I am glad to have you here.
I just want you to know that I can relate to what you are going through. I am also a cutter. The last time I cut myself was about a year ago. I had been cutting since I was about 9 years old. You are no "dumb dumb" for having a slip up this last week. YOu seem very smart becuz you have recognize what happen and I am hoping that you are putting into place a plan of action now. Your first step you have taking and that is seeking support and seeking out others for help.
You are on the road of recovery and while on that journey you will hit speed bumps every now and then and what you choice to do with yourself when you hit those bumps is whats important. I am not sure if this is making sense. But what I am trying to say is that Your speed bump that you hit was cutting Monday night. Now its up to you what your next step will be. Do you choice to pick yourself back up and jump back on the road or do you continue to hurt yourself. Well I believe that you have choosing to get back up and jump back on the road of recovery. Why Do I feel this way you may be asking.... Well I see that you do Not want to cut You are seeking for support and help by coming here. You are talking about what happen and not hiding it.
Well anyways I hope that I have helped some. Please feel free to email me anytime my email addy is methan@nycap.rr.com Also Rhonda and Jim are both great people and will be good support to you too.
Take care and update us soon.
Always Melissa
|
|
|
Post by beth7cam on Mar 25, 2009 19:27:19 GMT -5
Melissa and Rhonda, I wanted to say thanks for your support. Though I haven't felt much better this week, I am choosing not to hurt myself, which I think is a good thing. Things might be this way for awhile. But Melissa, you were right. I CAN control how I handle things even if I can't control what happens to me #peace# It's nice to know there are others out there like me. Thanks for being there. Beth
|
|
|
Post by Mel on Mar 26, 2009 7:26:14 GMT -5
HI Beth, I am sorry you are not feeling much better this week. I am glad to hear that you are hanging in there though. Thats Great. ANd awesome that you are Choosing not to hurt herself. We are here for you if and whenyou need the support. ALways Melissa
|
|
|
Post by aka on Mar 27, 2009 1:47:16 GMT -5
Hi beth7cam, welcome to the site, I’m looking forward to getting to know you. Mel and Rhonda are both very kind, caring and supportive people and will always do their very best to reach out and support you, when you are in a dark space
I know where you are coming from hun, because I have a long history of SI. I used to SI when I was young, then went for years without doing it. About ten or eleven years ago, I got very sick, I guess you could say I had a mental breakdown and the SI came back. On and off since then I have been using SI to cope. I’m doing OK at the moment and haven’t burnt myself for over a year now.
I feel your pain Beth and my heart goes out to you.
You are not a dumb dumb, like everyone else, you are only trying to make it thru another day, in the only way you know how at the particular time.
Please don’t judge yourself harshly, for you have no reason to and please don’t take it too personally. By personally, I mean don’t think that because you SI you are some weirdo who is bad. SI starts at a chemical level and conscious thought has very little to do with it. I could write a long bit about this, but I won’t at the moment.
What I want to tell you is, that the “YOU” who SIs, is not the same you, as the “YOU” who doesn’t. From my experiences with my own SI and that of others I have talked to, we usually only SI when we become, to a big degree depersonalised and dissociated and dwelling in a strange surreal world. We seem to view things at a distance and more after the act, than before the act. Sorry I can’t find the right words, this is a very difficult thing to try to put into words. I hope you can get some understanding of what I mean.
I’m sorry you are not doing too well at the moment, but I am very proud of you, for the effort you are putting in, to try to control your coping methods.
Rhonda mentioned Rocky’s Retreat, well that is my site and you are very welcome to go there any time you wish. Mel and Rhonda are both members and like them, the rest of the group are very kind, caring, understanding and not the least bit judgmental.
Well Beth, I hope you are feeling a bit better by the time you are reading this and if I can help in any way, just yell out.
Hugs.
Jim.
|
|