I AM SO d**n FAT

[Mel]

I am so Messed up tonight..... I was putting together a photo cd for someone who is retiring from Club North and when I was going through the pictures I realize HOW FAT I have gotten. I am so pissed off at myself. I bought a skirt today and took pictures but deleted them ALL Becuz I look HUGE!!!! I know people say as long as you can accept yourself then you are fine and what not and that looks or weight is not everything.

BUT ITS NOT LIKE THAT>>>>>> I need to drop at least 20 or 25 pounds if not more!!!!!!!! I am no longer eating until I get myself back. I don'ty care what people say around me. I can't live my life like this anymore. One of my old email account addy was dyingtobethin..... Well I guess that tell it all. I did my workout today and yesterday at the gym and today I did two hours of video workout.

I don't care if this kills me I am going to lose this excess crap.

Sorry Melissa

[aka]

Hi Mel,
I read this the other day, but was not up to replying, sorry.

I look at it this way, there is a lot of difference between losing weight for a valid reason and an eating disorder, so if you have a genuine reason for losing weight, then do it, But try not to be so drastic in the measures you take, you still need to eat, to supply you with the energy you need and you do need protein to keep your muscles up to par.

As long as you can keep your mind firmly focused on the differences, between legitimate dieting and an eating disorder, then in my mind there is no problem.

Hugs. Jim.

[Rhonda]

Melissa:
the photos i saw of you shows you as thin
Now you aint fat and need to get that outta your head or you end up back in hospital

Not wating also bad idea shrinks the stomach etc... you know all of this already...you know what the pison you take has doen to your digestive track etc.
and what's worse I know you aint gunna listen to one word of this...............you never do!!!!!
I wish you would though... i really do even when you get down to 76 lbs and look like a walking skeleton you think you need to lose.

Been waitng tonight for you to come on linebut to no avail

been a long long day and am going to bed soon....hate being sick it knocks the heck outta me

please please take care of yourself... have you named your new kitty yet/?
hugs
rhonda