new here any1 out there??

[cutter4life]

i am not realy sure how to do this board but my name is liz my friends c call me lizzy. i am 13 years old and i am in the 7th grade. i cut myself and my friends do not understand y. my mom yell at me all the time when they find new cuts. i do not want to die i just want the pain in side me to go away. I use razors that I steal from walmart and I have burnt myself with lighters. the pain gives me a high does that sound crazy?

i am in counseling i do not tell her about new cuts unless she ask. i hate my body i have been in the hospital because my mom said I was too small so the Dr. Beacon and her put me inthe hospital trying 2 make me get fat. it makes me mad that no one listens 2 me at home.

i have a brother who is in the army he has not been home for 3 years now. my dad is also in the army and has not been home for 2 years. i miss my dad and brother a lot and it makes me sad to watch tv and see every1 getting killed in tghe war. i have bad dreams about my dad dying and brother not coming home. after Johnny leftmom changed and everything is not the same she cries all the time and she tells me she wishes I would just be normal.

mom showed me this sitea while ago and book mark it for me she told me to check it out sometime. she says it might be able to help me.

i am not a big talker and about what goes on in my life. mom is making me do this. i hope i have not said 2 much.

Lizzy

[Rhonda]

Lizzy;
Of course you have not said too much....how else can we know what you feel unless you tell us.

As far as your bro and dad I am sorry they are away at war.
War is very real and scary and it is natural to worry about those you love that are away from you.

I am not much help wiht the rest of the stuff so will leave it to the others...as they are better at helping with that...but that is what this site is for... to vent and put your thoughts down...sometimes people have said they look back at their posts and it helps them figure out what is going on.....what triggers etc.

I am sure however yor mother is not trying to make you fat...hope all goes well for you and you find what you are looking for here.

Welcome to the group... if you are on msn or yahoo and feel like im ing me feel free ok?

[e-mail]

and yahoo

[e-mail]

~Rhonda

[caterpie]

Hi Lizzy,

My heart goes out to you sweety, it must be awfully scary worrying bout ur brother & ur Dad in the army - no wonder ur worried & just want the pain to go away.

I used to cut a lot too, especially when I was a teenager - I too found it provided relief from the other pain I was feeling, ...cutting for me was also like a way of having some control over at least one aspect of my life...although I often felt embarassed about this fact which made me want to do it all the more.

It must be hard having fights & stress at home with your Mum. With both ur Dad & brother away its a stressful situation for the both of you & can make conflicts all the more frequent. Im sure ur Mum is worried about you but is also so worried bout ur Dad & ur brother that she's probably at her wits end. I might be wrong, but maybe ur Mum is just so stressed out herself that she doesnt have the emotional resources left to support you as much as you maybe need?? Maybe?? .

I bet its also the same for you too - so in this case u r probably both butting heads all the time bcoz ur both going thru such stress & anguish. Im glad u came to this site to talk to us too bcoz we have some similar problems here & can support eachother. Im sure ur Mum loves u very much but sometimes its easier to talk to someone whose not as close to the situation...

Anyway I gotta go now, but I hope we can talk again soon. Hang in there sweety & thanku for sharing with us - I hope we can be of some help to you.

Lots of love
Caterpie

[Mel]

Hi Liz,

I am really worried about you but when you get home I want you to know that I have beem thinking about you every day. I have been praying for your well being and for quick healing of your wounds. I am so sorry that you were feeling so bad that you felt the need to try and do what you did. I hav ebeen there so I understand though but I am glad that you will be okay.

I know we have talked to each other ur dad and bro being gone so I won't go there here. As far as your mom she loves you so much honey!! SHe really does and I know that she is very very worried about you right now. She gets so sad when she sees you hurting so much and she is at lost as how to help you. Please keep the communication open b etween you and your mom. SHe really does love you honey even though I know at times its hard to see that.

Now as soon as you get home make sure you call me opr come here and just let us knwo your safely home. Love ya Sweety, ALways Mel