Post by Mel on Dec 24, 2005 14:18:32 GMT -5
The Power of Social Support
My definition of a man is this:
a being who can get used to anything."
Dostoyevsky
by Douglas Bloch, M.A.
The title of my book is When Going Through Hell - Don't Stop! What do I mean by hell? I define it as "relentless physical or emotional pain that appears to have no end." This was my experience of living with chronic, unremitting anxiety and depression.
I found that the best way to cope with such intense discomfort was to live my life one day at a time. Whenever I contemplated the prospect of dealing with my pain over the long term, I became overwhelmed. But if I could reduce my life to a single 24-hour segment of time-that was something I could handle. If I could tread water (or, being in hell, tread fire) each day, then perhaps I could survive my ordeal.
Working together, my therapist and I created what I called "my daily survival plan for living in hell." The central idea was simple-to develop coping strategies that would get me through the day, hour by hour, minute by minute. Because I was fighting a war on two fronts, I had to devise and employ techniques that would deal with both the depression and the anxiety. I used my coping strategies to create four categories of support, which I have summarized on the following pages. These categories are: physical support, mental/emotional support, spiritual support, and most importantly, people support.
What follows is a brief outline of my daily survival plan. I have rewritten it in the second person so that you can adapt it to your individual needs. Remember, the goal is to identify coping strategies that will keep you safe and get you through each day until the pattern of the depression shifts.
A. People Support
Social support is a key ingredient in dealing with emotional pain. Find a way to structure your daily routine so that you will be around people much of the time. If there is a day treatment program in your area, some form of group therapy, or depression support groups at your local hospital, attend them. Don't be embarrassed about asking for help from family members or friends. You are suffering from an illness, not a personal weakness or defect in character.
My own sense of connection with people gave me a reason not to harm myself. I did not want to afflict my friends and family with the anguish that would result from my self-imposed departure. A lifeguard at the pool where I swam, agreed with my thinking. "Other people are a good reason to stay alive," she affirmed.
Support is critical in helping people to cope with all kinds of extreme circumstances. Survivor researcher, Julius Siegal, emphasizes that communication among prisoners of war provides a lifeline for their survival. And for those who are prisoners of their inner wars, support is equally crucial. In chronicling his own depressive episode, novelist Andrew Solomon wrote:
Recovery depends enormously on support. The depressives I've met who have done the best were cushioned with love. Nothing taught me more about the love of my father and my friends than my own depression.
B. Physical Support
The second aspect of your daily survival plan consists of finding ways to nurture your physical body. Here are some suggestions.
Exercise: Research has shown that regular exercise can improve mood in cases of mild to moderate depression. Exercise is one of the best ways to elevate and stabilize mood as well as improve overall physical health. Pick an activity that you might enjoy, even if it is as simple as walking around the block, and engage in it as often as you can (three to four times a week is ideal).
Diet and Nutrition: Eat a diet that is high in complex carbohydrates and protein, avoiding foods such as simple sugars that can cause emotional ups and downs. Try to stay away from foods that have chemical additives or preservatives that may create ups and downs for chemically sensitive individuals.
Sleep: Adopt a regular sleep schedule to get your body into a routine. If you have trouble getting to sleep or suffer from insomnia, there are behavioral techniques as well as medication that can help you to sleep. The book "No More Sleepless Nights" by Peter Hauri is a good resource.
Medication: Take your antidepressant medication as prescribed. Check with your health care professional before making any changes in dosage. Be patient and give the medicine enough time to work.
C. Mental/Emotional Support
Every thought and feeling produces a neurochemical change in your brain. Although you may not always be able to control the painful symptoms of depression and anxiety, you can influence the way you think and feel about those symptoms.
Monitoring self-talk. Monitoring one's self-talk is an integral strategy of cognitive-behavioral therapy, a talk therapy widely used in treating depression. You may wish to work with a therapist who specializes in cognitive therapy. He or she can help you to replace thoughts of catastrophe and doom with affirmations that encourage you to apply present-moment coping strategies. For example, the statement "My depression will never get better" can be replaced by the affirmation "Nothing stays the same forever" or "This, too, will pass." Switching from negative to positive self-talk is a process that may have to practiced once, twice, sometimes ten times a day. Since the depressed brain tends to see life through dark-colored glasses, monitoring one's inner dialogue provides a lifeline to healing.
Keep a mood diary.One of the survival techniques I used to stay alive in my hell was to keep track of my anxiety and depression on a day-to-day basis. To this end, I created a daily mood scale. Somehow, the simple act of observing and recording moods gave me a sense of control over them. I also used the mood diary to track my reactions to pharmaceutical drugs and to record daily thoughts and feelings. Here is the scale that I used. Feel free to adapt it to your own needs.
My definition of a man is this:
a being who can get used to anything."
Dostoyevsky
by Douglas Bloch, M.A.
The title of my book is When Going Through Hell - Don't Stop! What do I mean by hell? I define it as "relentless physical or emotional pain that appears to have no end." This was my experience of living with chronic, unremitting anxiety and depression.
I found that the best way to cope with such intense discomfort was to live my life one day at a time. Whenever I contemplated the prospect of dealing with my pain over the long term, I became overwhelmed. But if I could reduce my life to a single 24-hour segment of time-that was something I could handle. If I could tread water (or, being in hell, tread fire) each day, then perhaps I could survive my ordeal.
Working together, my therapist and I created what I called "my daily survival plan for living in hell." The central idea was simple-to develop coping strategies that would get me through the day, hour by hour, minute by minute. Because I was fighting a war on two fronts, I had to devise and employ techniques that would deal with both the depression and the anxiety. I used my coping strategies to create four categories of support, which I have summarized on the following pages. These categories are: physical support, mental/emotional support, spiritual support, and most importantly, people support.
What follows is a brief outline of my daily survival plan. I have rewritten it in the second person so that you can adapt it to your individual needs. Remember, the goal is to identify coping strategies that will keep you safe and get you through each day until the pattern of the depression shifts.
A. People Support
Social support is a key ingredient in dealing with emotional pain. Find a way to structure your daily routine so that you will be around people much of the time. If there is a day treatment program in your area, some form of group therapy, or depression support groups at your local hospital, attend them. Don't be embarrassed about asking for help from family members or friends. You are suffering from an illness, not a personal weakness or defect in character.
My own sense of connection with people gave me a reason not to harm myself. I did not want to afflict my friends and family with the anguish that would result from my self-imposed departure. A lifeguard at the pool where I swam, agreed with my thinking. "Other people are a good reason to stay alive," she affirmed.
Support is critical in helping people to cope with all kinds of extreme circumstances. Survivor researcher, Julius Siegal, emphasizes that communication among prisoners of war provides a lifeline for their survival. And for those who are prisoners of their inner wars, support is equally crucial. In chronicling his own depressive episode, novelist Andrew Solomon wrote:
Recovery depends enormously on support. The depressives I've met who have done the best were cushioned with love. Nothing taught me more about the love of my father and my friends than my own depression.
B. Physical Support
The second aspect of your daily survival plan consists of finding ways to nurture your physical body. Here are some suggestions.
Exercise: Research has shown that regular exercise can improve mood in cases of mild to moderate depression. Exercise is one of the best ways to elevate and stabilize mood as well as improve overall physical health. Pick an activity that you might enjoy, even if it is as simple as walking around the block, and engage in it as often as you can (three to four times a week is ideal).
Diet and Nutrition: Eat a diet that is high in complex carbohydrates and protein, avoiding foods such as simple sugars that can cause emotional ups and downs. Try to stay away from foods that have chemical additives or preservatives that may create ups and downs for chemically sensitive individuals.
Sleep: Adopt a regular sleep schedule to get your body into a routine. If you have trouble getting to sleep or suffer from insomnia, there are behavioral techniques as well as medication that can help you to sleep. The book "No More Sleepless Nights" by Peter Hauri is a good resource.
Medication: Take your antidepressant medication as prescribed. Check with your health care professional before making any changes in dosage. Be patient and give the medicine enough time to work.
C. Mental/Emotional Support
Every thought and feeling produces a neurochemical change in your brain. Although you may not always be able to control the painful symptoms of depression and anxiety, you can influence the way you think and feel about those symptoms.
Monitoring self-talk. Monitoring one's self-talk is an integral strategy of cognitive-behavioral therapy, a talk therapy widely used in treating depression. You may wish to work with a therapist who specializes in cognitive therapy. He or she can help you to replace thoughts of catastrophe and doom with affirmations that encourage you to apply present-moment coping strategies. For example, the statement "My depression will never get better" can be replaced by the affirmation "Nothing stays the same forever" or "This, too, will pass." Switching from negative to positive self-talk is a process that may have to practiced once, twice, sometimes ten times a day. Since the depressed brain tends to see life through dark-colored glasses, monitoring one's inner dialogue provides a lifeline to healing.
Keep a mood diary.One of the survival techniques I used to stay alive in my hell was to keep track of my anxiety and depression on a day-to-day basis. To this end, I created a daily mood scale. Somehow, the simple act of observing and recording moods gave me a sense of control over them. I also used the mood diary to track my reactions to pharmaceutical drugs and to record daily thoughts and feelings. Here is the scale that I used. Feel free to adapt it to your own needs.