Post by Mel on Jan 15, 2006 16:03:12 GMT -5
How Do You Deal With Depression?
R. wrote:
>I was just wondering what other people have done to deal with their depressions?
wombn responds:
Regular therapy, and when needed, anti-depressants, being very open about it with LOTS of people, and using little tricks:
RE: THERAPY
Most of my biggest issues have been "worked-through", or at least, to the point where I understand them fairly well and I can use healthier means of coping.
Now, therapy is more like .... keeping in touch with my "tribal elder". or having a place to have regular "conversations with myself." You see, when something's bothering me, my mind gets stuck in these loops,and I usually need to talk it out with someone who is receptive and understanding and positive. Yes, I could talk about most of these things with friends, but there are times when an objective view is essential, or when the person I'm talking to needs to know my deep dark secrets.... I can't always tell those to friends.
So my therapist mostly helps me get out of these stuck loops. She rarely gives me advice. Only after I've talked it all the way through and then ASK her for her input.
RE: MEDS
Sometimes my body just can't handle everything it's put through, goes into "hibernation mode" (From "The Good News About Depression") and can't pull itself back out--no matter what I do (meditation, talking, resting, exercising, sleeping, whatever). That's when meds are ESSENTIAL to me.
Without them, I would end up destroying everything-- my job, my home, my relationships.....
RE: BEING VERY OPEN ABOUT IT WITH OTHER PEOPLE
I used to keep a facade up every minute of every day. When my first major depressive episode hit, I was so non-functioning, that I was INCAPABLE of holding up any kind of facade, whether I wanted to or not. Through the course of that 9 months, I had to re-examine every aspect of my life. Some of my friendships died then-- the people had liked the facade.... Some relationships got so much better, that they no longer resembled the former relationships.
When I first started talking about the molestation my gr*ndfa*r put me through, I told everyone who had a 1/2 hour conversation with me... about 50% of those people said... "You know, I've never told anyone this before... but I had a similar experience....". It helped me feel not so crazy. The ONLY person who gave me a bad response was my mother... but then she wasn't an impartial observer... (we've long since worked it out and now have a WONDERFUL relationship)
Now that I'm in another depressive episode, I've told many people at work. I think my boss is having a hard time dealing with it. She's sympathetic, but just doesn't quite know how to ... be emotionally supportive. But that's OK. As long as she continues talking with Human Resources for help on handling it, and remains open to hearing my progress reports, we'll be OK.
Other people though... so far I've experienced no backlash. Maybe some people now have a negative opinion of me, but it hasn't affected me in anyway that I can SEE, so far.
Mostly, I've gotten nothing but positive responses. People are kind of watching out for me... that feels really nice. Also, several people have responded by telling me about their own struggles with depression (or a family member's).
I consider my depressions to be a part of ME. If you're going to like me, you're going to have to accept the depressions as part of my identity. Can't pick and choose. The depressions aren't always there, just like I go through spells of sewing or piano-playing or being in the mood for Mexican/Asian/Italian food or obsessing over the Internet... or whatever. So when I'm in a depressive episode, if you're a friend of mine, you have to be able to deal with it.
And if I'm going to work for you, you have to be able to deal with it too. Just as if I had any other kind of recurring disability (carpal tunnel syndrome, for example).
BUT!!!! IMPORTANT NOTE HERE!!!
I live and work in a very liberal area (San Francisco Bay Area). And my company is 85% women. Makes a BIG difference.
I don't want to suggest that anyone follow my ways... each situation is different.
RE: MY LITTLE TRICKS
I keep a slightly mangled slinky hanging from the ceiling. I visualize myself somewhere on that slinky. Slowly rising, sometimes not very high, sometimes dipping into a mangled spot, always revisting the same da*n things over and over and over -- BUT NEVER FROM THE EXACT SAME CIRCLE ON THE SLINKY.
When I'm feeling discouraged, I look at it.
I also have some favorite stuffed animals that I used to sleep with on bad days... now I have a very affectionate, cuddly, fat cat who sleeps with me. I can tell him anything, and he just keeps purring and begging for more scratching.
When I have too much going on in my brain to wait for the therapist, I write stream-of-consciousness writing. No grammar/ punctuation /spelling worries. Basically it's a CORE DUMP.
I write down the vivid dreams. and think about them.
I call my mom and whine.
I have conversations in my head with my therapist.
I re-read parts of books that have helped me feel better.
I NEVER EVER reread my journals (they are usually about the bad times... and tend to make me feel worse)
I watch sad movies to help me cry the cleansing kind of crying. Somehow, sad or touching movies helps me get in touch with my feelings when they just won't surface clearly.
Gee, ask a simple question, get a book..... hope you don't mind.
Copyright © 2001 by Diane Wilson. All rights reserved.
R. wrote:
>I was just wondering what other people have done to deal with their depressions?
wombn responds:
Regular therapy, and when needed, anti-depressants, being very open about it with LOTS of people, and using little tricks:
RE: THERAPY
Most of my biggest issues have been "worked-through", or at least, to the point where I understand them fairly well and I can use healthier means of coping.
Now, therapy is more like .... keeping in touch with my "tribal elder". or having a place to have regular "conversations with myself." You see, when something's bothering me, my mind gets stuck in these loops,and I usually need to talk it out with someone who is receptive and understanding and positive. Yes, I could talk about most of these things with friends, but there are times when an objective view is essential, or when the person I'm talking to needs to know my deep dark secrets.... I can't always tell those to friends.
So my therapist mostly helps me get out of these stuck loops. She rarely gives me advice. Only after I've talked it all the way through and then ASK her for her input.
RE: MEDS
Sometimes my body just can't handle everything it's put through, goes into "hibernation mode" (From "The Good News About Depression") and can't pull itself back out--no matter what I do (meditation, talking, resting, exercising, sleeping, whatever). That's when meds are ESSENTIAL to me.
Without them, I would end up destroying everything-- my job, my home, my relationships.....
RE: BEING VERY OPEN ABOUT IT WITH OTHER PEOPLE
I used to keep a facade up every minute of every day. When my first major depressive episode hit, I was so non-functioning, that I was INCAPABLE of holding up any kind of facade, whether I wanted to or not. Through the course of that 9 months, I had to re-examine every aspect of my life. Some of my friendships died then-- the people had liked the facade.... Some relationships got so much better, that they no longer resembled the former relationships.
When I first started talking about the molestation my gr*ndfa*r put me through, I told everyone who had a 1/2 hour conversation with me... about 50% of those people said... "You know, I've never told anyone this before... but I had a similar experience....". It helped me feel not so crazy. The ONLY person who gave me a bad response was my mother... but then she wasn't an impartial observer... (we've long since worked it out and now have a WONDERFUL relationship)
Now that I'm in another depressive episode, I've told many people at work. I think my boss is having a hard time dealing with it. She's sympathetic, but just doesn't quite know how to ... be emotionally supportive. But that's OK. As long as she continues talking with Human Resources for help on handling it, and remains open to hearing my progress reports, we'll be OK.
Other people though... so far I've experienced no backlash. Maybe some people now have a negative opinion of me, but it hasn't affected me in anyway that I can SEE, so far.
Mostly, I've gotten nothing but positive responses. People are kind of watching out for me... that feels really nice. Also, several people have responded by telling me about their own struggles with depression (or a family member's).
I consider my depressions to be a part of ME. If you're going to like me, you're going to have to accept the depressions as part of my identity. Can't pick and choose. The depressions aren't always there, just like I go through spells of sewing or piano-playing or being in the mood for Mexican/Asian/Italian food or obsessing over the Internet... or whatever. So when I'm in a depressive episode, if you're a friend of mine, you have to be able to deal with it.
And if I'm going to work for you, you have to be able to deal with it too. Just as if I had any other kind of recurring disability (carpal tunnel syndrome, for example).
BUT!!!! IMPORTANT NOTE HERE!!!
I live and work in a very liberal area (San Francisco Bay Area). And my company is 85% women. Makes a BIG difference.
I don't want to suggest that anyone follow my ways... each situation is different.
RE: MY LITTLE TRICKS
I keep a slightly mangled slinky hanging from the ceiling. I visualize myself somewhere on that slinky. Slowly rising, sometimes not very high, sometimes dipping into a mangled spot, always revisting the same da*n things over and over and over -- BUT NEVER FROM THE EXACT SAME CIRCLE ON THE SLINKY.
When I'm feeling discouraged, I look at it.
I also have some favorite stuffed animals that I used to sleep with on bad days... now I have a very affectionate, cuddly, fat cat who sleeps with me. I can tell him anything, and he just keeps purring and begging for more scratching.
When I have too much going on in my brain to wait for the therapist, I write stream-of-consciousness writing. No grammar/ punctuation /spelling worries. Basically it's a CORE DUMP.
I write down the vivid dreams. and think about them.
I call my mom and whine.
I have conversations in my head with my therapist.
I re-read parts of books that have helped me feel better.
I NEVER EVER reread my journals (they are usually about the bad times... and tend to make me feel worse)
I watch sad movies to help me cry the cleansing kind of crying. Somehow, sad or touching movies helps me get in touch with my feelings when they just won't surface clearly.
Gee, ask a simple question, get a book..... hope you don't mind.
Copyright © 2001 by Diane Wilson. All rights reserved.